Funniest shop pranks and stories

I for one don't enjoy "pranks".

I worked in a shop where pranks were always going on...the biggest instigator was a shitheel weldor who acted like a 5yr old throwing a tantrum whenever he didn't get his way.

I came into work one day and couldn't find my toolbox. I figured I had been the victim of the latest round of idiocy. When I finally found my toolbox, it was ratchet-strapped to a ceiling beam.

Now let me tell you, I was NOT happy. I had just purchased a roller Kennedy and I could see that the sides were bowed from the ratchet-strap.

I told the bosses that I would be back to work when the ass-clown who had done that to my box got it down. I also told them that I would hold them personally liable if any of my tools were damaged. I left and came back after lunch.

When I arrived back at work, I inspected my box. The left rear corner had a crease and bend from being squeezed by the ratchet-strap. I also had a bent drawer face and a broken caliper and dial-indicator from the shifting and rough-handling. I was LIVID.

The moronic weldor wasn't back from lunch yet and the shop foreman informed me that he had been the one who pulled the stunt.

I proceeded to wheel his crappy Craftsman box out onto the driveway, then dumped a gallon of gas from the lawnmower on it. I struck a match and watched it burn.

Most everyone in the shop was watching, dumbfounded. I told them that if it was acceptable to damage my personal property on company time in the name of games, it was also perfectly acceptable to engage in retribution.

The weldor walked up about this time after arriving back and had a pissy fit, screaming, hollering, threatening me, slapping at his box with his coat trying to put out the fire.

He turned on me and charged. I stepped out of the way just as he flew by me. He stumbled and fell on the door threshold, knocking himself out when his head thudded against the concrete.

The boss called me into the office and dressed me up and down, telling me he should fire me. I told him that he was more than welcome to fire me if he wanted, but the damage to my box and tools WOULD be covered by his company.

He sent me home for the rest of the day.

The next day, the weldor was gone and we had a company meeting about zero-tolerance regarding shop pranks.

I still have that sad, broken & bent box AND those tools. It still pisses me off to this day that some people think this is an acceptable way to act as an adult.

Really makes me glad I work for myself and don't have to deal with morons anymore!

I love good jokes and can take what i give.

But not every one can,one thing I learned long ago is to get a feel of who you are joking with.Some will not be out done,if you squirt,they will drench you.

Those are the ones best left alone.Also a joke remains a joke as long as you have since enough not to damage anything or put some ones job or health on the line.

As a rule VEHICLES,TOOLS and personal items are off limits.

One of our favorite gags is waiting till a buddy is deep into a cut and all propped up on the metal work bench's in front of the machines then BANGing the shit out of it with a hammer...gets a jump and cuss word every time.But we NEVER do it to each other if one is bent over the machine or hands on a control.

One of my favorite gags is to take two packs of ketchup,mustard or what ever flavor you like and put a tare in one end but not enough to break the seal,next fold it in half and place one under each side of the toilet lid with the tare toward the toilet (nut sack).

Most people just give a quick wipe of the seat then flop their ass down on it,if ketchup packs are placed just right they will hose down your Buddy's junk

I think i would go berserk if some of that happened over here.
Recently a guy came up behind me yelling something like "i cant work like this, what a crap are you doing, WTF " .
I looked at him like he was insane, he goes on "ohhh, just kiddin, hehehehe"

If i had been on the lathe...........i hope that never happens.

Our boss is one hell of a stern and sometimes outright authoritatian (but otherwise very nice) elderly man, a real "prussian".
I think he would have been more than just in agreement with my assesment of the situation.


The "banging on sheetmetal" prank happens all the time in a most innocent way.
People scribing their stuff on sheetmetal while Im on the lathe.
Parting off some sticky 2 1/2" aluminum. BANG.....
Taking a heavy cut...BANG.....

Gotta lock away all center punches

OK Guy's I tell this one at least once a year and laugh harder and harder each time. Long ago my close friend had a body shop and I spent many late nights there working on his and my race cars. Sometimes I would stop by to have lunch with the guy's. Well a very attractive 30 year old girl was hired as a secretary. I was introduced to her and while I was conversing with her a small spider ran across her desk and she completely went ape shit screaming like I have never seen anyone. So she tells me that she is terrified of spiders and thats when the evil came out in me and the fellows in the shop. The bathroom was located in the shop so on lunch break we went to the mall in search of a large rubber,fuzzy tarantula and we found the perfect one about 5" in diameter,tied fishing line to it,threaded an eye hook in the rafter above the toilet and ran the line out into the next shop and pulled the tarantula up to the ceiling. When the secretary went in the line was released about 45 seconds in and the giant spider was bouncing up and down at her eye level while sitting on the thrown and this girl screamed and ran right out into the body shop with her skirt and panties around her ankles. The guy's in the shop got a nice treat for sure. Luckily she was a good sport about it.

Nylon2hard?

jim rozen said:

...I was running a bunch of parts, and he had gotten two
bins of stock out of the annealing furnace, about five hundred pounds of nylon slugs
at 250 deg F. He parked the fork truck between me and the fan, so the air perked
throught the red-hot parts. It was like a blast furnace....

Had to laugh at that one.

Jim

Click to expand...

This thread's hillarious -minus the simpleton abuse, unlicensed carbide surgery, and entrail popping.-
Jim, what's the purpose of annealing nylon? Was it cryogenically hardened or something? I work with Nylatron all the time and even that seems a bit gummy as is. Best, -Phil

laserdudephil said:

This thread's hillarious -minus the simpleton abuse, unlicensed carbide surgery, and entrail popping.-
Jim, what's the purpose of annealing nylon? Was it cryogenically hardened or something? I work with Nylatron all the time and even that seems a bit gummy as is. Best, -Phil

Click to expand...

Nylon absorbs moisture from the air and expands. Drying it in the oven removes the moisture. If you machine the parts then the nylon is dried, your parts just shrunk and are out of tolerance and scrap. Nylon sucks.

Quick Google search:

NYLON PLASTIC

Gave a buddies tool box an alignment job once, took off the swivel casters and shimmed once side of both swivels. If you gave the toolbox a shove it would turn around in circles. Very difficult to drive it straight. Took him a while to figure out what was wrong!

Also drove a few screws into his wheels once, less destructive than grinding flats on the wheels.

Not had too many pranks played on me-when I was training took my shop coat off the hook,someone had put grease in the pockets,I pretended not to be f.g mad and it didn't happen again. My last job old Mick liked to bang my lathe tray from behind-I'd just go Very funny,Mick and he got the hint. I once put marking blue on the foremans eye glass and he went round with a blue ring around his eye. Quite agree-don't tinker with machinery or take liberties with people's property.

John thought it would be funny one day to put a piece of scratch paper with "gotcha" written on it in my ham sandwitch. I ignored but recognized his writing. Jogn had soup about once a week and would put it in the Litton radar range around 11:00 for about 30 seconds and every ten mins or so he would go by and do it again. He put his clam chowder in and gave it 30 seconds and I came by just behind him and gave it 5 mins each time. He never opened the door and looked in until noon where he found most of it welded to the top of the poor old radar range. He spent most of his lunch time cleaning it and telling the boss that is was broken and needed replaced. He was talking about it later at break and I asked him if that was as funny as a note in a sandwich, he didn't seem to think it was too funny but he didn't play with me any more.

Putting gravel behind the wheel covers of a co-workers Chevy. Filling coffeecups with way oil. Glueing said cups to the bench. Going to work at 5:00 am and festooning the building with "Police line do not cross" yellow tape.
I had a neighbor who thought he was funny, he played some stupid tricks. So I went and rearranged the plug wires of his car, and to make the message loud I also greased every control surface - except the brake pedal - of his car.

Back in my gas station days....

Other punk who worked there thought he was hot snot and his mustang was so great.

Little known trick was rotor in distributor for dodge and Ford looked identical and cross fit just fine.

Minor difference is they ate keyed 180 apart.

Swap ford rotor for dodge and car no start.

Waited long time for dodge to show up for tune up.

Collected the old rotor, swapped and placed original on top of air cleaner.

Schmuck works on it awhile and did not notice a rotor on his air cleaner for awhile.

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At the first Squadron I was posted to, the Pilots received what was called a "Between Meals Supplement", essentially a cupboard full of soups and snacks that they did not have to pay for.

Lots of heat and eat Campbell's Soups and the like.

What we discovered, was that the honk bags (airsickness bags) were plastic lined, and worked really well as a microwaveable, disposable, container, for heating those soups.

So. Fella is walking in from a familiarization flight, his honk bag carefully held away from his body. He walk around the corner, carrying it, and sees us all shoveling the contents of OUR honk bags into us as fast as we can shovel the spoons! LOL! Poor Sensitive soul made a mad dash for the can!

Rocket Box (Blue Outhouses) Stories.

Similar, to above, except it was East Europe, Balkans times. The camp was set up in a industrial building that was mostly intact but empty. The crappers were lined up against the building wall, and the vent pipes went up as far as they had pipe for. Which happened to be about the third floor. The Communications guys were working out of the third floor. They would see the pipe start rocking, as someone started to settle in to do their business, and they would open the window, reach out, and drop a battery pack from the personal Radios, down the stack, usually resulting in a splashed victim, unless they knew the game, in which case they stood as they heard the rattle down the pipe and closed the toilet lid!

In another instance, a fella was having some "Private Time" in the rocket box, without a clue, that the light that was inside, was making for a pretty accurate shadow puppet show on the walls of said appliance. Word got around the Camp pretty quickly, he opened the door of the box, to find he had a standing ovation, cheers and jeers, from around 80 people! Infamy!

Here is one you can play on your wife.
You just need some fishing string (about 4') and a pair of socks (color doesn't matter).
When she goes out, tie the fishing string to the rolled up socks then tie the other end to the inside door knob of a closet.
Close the closet as far as you can with your arm inside and slide the socks back as far as you can. Then close the rest of the way.
When she comes home, tell her you thought you saw a mouse run into the closet, but when you checked it out you didn't see anything.
Be ready to hear an ear-piercing scream when she opens the door and the socks come rolling out fast

Putting a fussy thig that looks like a Rat in a fine string, so opening the toolbox the Rat jumps out.

If you have a squirt bottle you use for coolant when drilling or whatnot, fill it with water and wait for the victim to take his normal five minute #2 in the men's room
Give him a minute to get comfortable, then run into the bathroom, bust into the stall next to him, unzip your fly and start squirting the water into the pot going AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Then slowly move the bottle so its out of the bowl, onto the floor and move the water spray to his boots in the next stall. Ever hear a grown man scream?

The pranks I remember would put you in jail now........ a perennial was the bucks party prank where the groom would be so drunk not to notice certain parts were being painted with mercurachrome (pink) and acriflavine (yellow) .